Day #55: The Bitch Against the Wall

More times than I'd like to admit, I've been the bitch against the wall.

You all know exactly the type of person I mean.

I don't mean a wallflower, more like a wall weed.

Someone who shows up to the club, bar, or party late, then gets a drink, and stands off to the side commenting on how lame everyone is--except for them of course.

This used to be my favorite past-time.

In Rhode Island, it can be tricky to be a bitch against a wall, because in some cases, everyone wants to be the bitch against the wall.

Sometimes the walls are more crowded than the dance floors, which is incredibly sad.

As Cher said in her Behind the Music, "nobody likes to be uncool." So I understand the urge to remain on the sidelines, avoiding any actual activity, that way nobody can comment on what you're doing.

The flip side of that is--one day, when I look back on my life, I doubt I'll ever go--"Remember when I used to stand against the wall and be a bitch to everyone? God, I miss those days."

So part of this project was to get myself off the wall.

(Somebody cue Kool and the Gang's "Get Down On It.")

All of my favorite memories start with me complaining "Nooo, I'll look stupid!" so maybe I need to shut up and dance more often?

FRIEND: Honey, I've seen you dance. I'd tape myself to the wall if I were you.
ME: I've seen you on the dance floor a few times.
FRIEND: Well, you have to get in the pool if you want to play polo.
ME: Is that a sexual euphemism?
FRIEND: I can't even tell anymore.
ME: Either way, I'm dancing more often. No more bitching from the sidelines.
FRIEND: That's wonderful.
ME: You mean you support it?
FRIEND: No, I just love that you gave me a new title for my autobiography: "Bitching from the Sidelines: A Life."

If you'll excuse me, it's time to rhumba.