Day #49: The Friend of My Enemy

So here's a conundrum:

You're participating in a project where you're being nice for 100 days.

You're friends with two people.

One of them screws over the other.

Should you still be nice to the person who screwed over your friend? If you are nice, does that mean you're, in turn, not being nice to the person who was screwed over?

Difficult, right?

Well, I don't just throw around the word "conundrum" for nothing.

I decided the best route to take was just to stay out of it.

(Isn't that usually the best route? See? I'm learning.)

So I didn't say anything to the screwer, and of course, I got in trouble with the screw-ee.

SCREWEE: You went out to dinner with him?!?!
ME: No, a group of us went out to dinner. He was there.
SCREWEE: Funny that I wasn't invited.
ME: I did invite you!
SCREWEE: Well, obviously I wasn't going to go if he was there!
ME: It's not like I fed him cupcakes and stroked his cheek lovingly. He was just sitting at the same table as me!
SCREWEE: Were you mean to him?
ME: No, I can't be mean. Remember?
SCREWEE: Wow, you're such a great friend.

Click.

49 days ago, I should have moved into a bubble with a koala bear colony. This whole interacting-with-people-while-being-nice thing is getting hard.

FRIEND: I worked on a production of 'Mr. Koala's Magical Journey' once.
ME: I never heard of it.
FRIEND: I smelled like eucalyptus for months.
ME: Have you ever had to stay out of a fight between two friends?
FRIEND: I usually just encourage them to sleep with each other. Then they get over it.
ME: I'm not sure that'll work here. Actually, I'm not sure that should ever work.
FRIEND: Why don't you just let the person who was wrong know you feel they did the wrong thing.
ME: Because it just sounds like I'm King Solomon handing down a judgment.
FRIEND: You? Judgmental? You can't see it but I'm holding my hands over my mouth in a shocked manner.
ME: I'm hanging up now.
FRIEND: Let me get my fainting couch. I'm flummoxed here.
ME: Good-bye!

Boy, with friends like these...

I should stick to koala bears.