Day #44: Get Out of Your Head

There's a really interesting article in CNN about a woman with Cognitive Distortions. Without minimizing the issue, it deals with the voices in your head. The ones that take things too personally or make you feel terrible about yourself.

The title of the article really caught my eye--"I'm changing the voices in my head."

When I saw that, I realized that I haven't checked in with the voices in my own head for awhile.

At the beginning of this project, the majority of what I heard inside my head was negative. For the first few days, I found myself constantly catching negative thoughts and throwing them back at myself.

It became like wrestling with my own consciousness.

"See this?" I'd say "This is an awful thing to think!"
"Well, what the hell do you want me to do about it?" I'd fire back.
"Nothing, it just means you're a lousy person."
"Go f**k yourself!"

I wasn't getting anywhere.

So instead, I tried a new approach.

I twisted the thoughts around. I played the Pollyanna game.

For those of you unfamiliar with the fantastic Hayley Mills film, it's about a sunny little girl who transforms a Southern town by thinking positively.

(If it sounds hokey, it was a Disney movie. And back then, they knew how to make hokey work.)

My favorite moment of the movie is when everyone talks about how much they dislike Sundays. Someone challenges Pollyanna to find something good about Sundays, and she says--

"The good thing about Sundays is that they only come once a week."

Once I started playing the Pollyanna game, I found that I still had those negative thoughts every once in awhile, but at least now they don't linger for as long or have as much of an impact.

ME: Have you ever played that game?
FRIEND: Strip Candyland?
ME: No, the--Wait, what?
FRIEND: Personally, I wasn't into Pollyanna. Unless you're counting the fierce 80's remake with Mrs. Huxtable.
ME: You know, it wouldn't hurt for you to include a little more positive thinking in your own life.
FRIEND: I think nice things all the time! Cute boys are nice. Ponies are nice. This drink in my hand is nice.
ME: Which drink in which hand?
FRIEND: You bitch! ...Get out of my head.

Bingo.