Day #46: Just Don't Let It Stick

I have a problem with compliments.

A major problem with compliments.

Some of the people close to me already know this, but I was raised to believe that whenever anybody says anything to you stronger than "you did a good job" they're kissing your ass and you should back away from them slowly.

Now, I realize that isn't always true, but one thing I DO know to be true is that it's a short distance from humility to arrogance.

When I was in school, I saw people leap from one to the other after just one lead role.

So I do tend to take compliments poorly. Most of the time I just say 'thank you' and then disappear.

I'm sure it looks rude, and I've wanted to do something about it as part of this project.

One of the tactics I've tried is conversing rather than just being complimented.

I'll say--"Oh, you liked the show? Thank you. What did you think of--? I was a little unsure about that." or "Was there anything I could have done better?"

That tends to turn the compliments into constructive thought, and THAT I can take.

FRIEND: Just so we're clear, I never say nice things about you.
ME: And I appreciate it.
FRIEND: It's weird to shower your friends with compliments. They're your friends.
ME: But you don't think it's weird to shower with friends?
FRIEND: Honey, that's an egg for another basket.

The best trick I have is to remember not to let the compliments stick. I process them, appreciate them, then let them go.

After all, if you hang onto all your old compliments, how are you ever going to get new ones?