Day #48: The Non-Response

In one of the earlier posts on this blog, I asked what I should do when dealing with crazy people.

"Do you still have to be nice to crazy people?"

I was asking because I found that there were a few people in my life who were just completely incapable of handling the fact that I'm trying to exorcise negativity from my life.

Many people offered suggestions, but I ended up just taking the simplest approach.

I ignore the insanity.

Now, I take the approach that if someone brings gossip, foolishness, or any sort of junior high bulls**t to my door, I just don't open it.

At first, I thought maybe this was passive aggressive of me, but then I realized that by engaging in any sort of exchange with these people, all I was going to be doing was creating more theatrics and allowing them to disrespect what I'm trying to do.

I understand to some extent. Up until a few months ago, whenever I would get into a fight with someone, or there was awkwardness between us, I would hunt them down and nag them until the issue was resolved.

I refused to just let anything rest, and see if time could handle it.

It's fine to want to communicate and work things out, but some people just need distance at certain points, and I'm discovering I'm one of those people.

To give you an example of how bad I was:

A friend of mine had done a few shows together, and during the last show, a ton of petty little things happened between a large group of us, and we all just needed to take a break from each other.

I was the only one who didn't get that.

I mean, I knew that's what was needed, but I just didn't care.

I wouldn't have said that at the time, but looking back, I didn't care. It was about me wanting everything to be fine right away.

So I kept messaging people, e-mailing, calling, and pretty much driving everyone nuts until finally the friend I had messaged me letting me know he just needed a little time away from me and then everything would be fine.

An exchange occurred similar to the following--

ME: Just wanted to let you know I got your message. I'll back off for now.
FRIEND: Thanks. I appreciate it.
ME: Just wanted to make sure you know I'm here for you when you're ready for us to be friends again.
FRIEND: Thank you.
ME: Because you know I didn't start most of the problems that happened.
FRIEND: I'm aware. Thank you.
ME: Well good, I'm glad.
FRIEND: Me too.
ME: Also me lol but seriously, I'm glad.

After that, I sent six more messages letting him know I got the message.

Why?

Because I was determined to have the last word. To be the good guy. To be the "not crazy" one.

Why, instead, wasn't I determined to be the person who respects his friend's wishes?

Selfishness, and a bit of insanity.

Looking back, I understand that sometimes as much as you want to be nice, you can't give certain people an inch or they run a mile towards Crazy Town.

So now I just don't respond.

And I hope they get the message.