Why are we nice?
No, really, think about it.
How many of us are nice just for the sake of being nice?
When I took on the "nice" project, I found that everyone's main comment to me was--
"But you're not really being nice."
To which I would reply--
"No, really, I'm being nice."
"But you don't mean to be."
"No, I totally mean to be."
"But you wouldn't be nice if you didn't have to be."
That's when it hit me.
People are so used to "fake" nice that some people have actually stopped believing that real "nice" even exists.
I feel like I run into more of this in the theater community, because of how scared people are of burning bridges.
FRIEND: I hate him.
ME: But you just hugged him!
FRIEND: I don't want him to know I hate him! He's doing "Xanadu" next year!
It's enough to make someone paranoid.
Who really likes us and who's biting their teeth behind their smile?
ME: Have you ever been nice to someone because they could help you advance in some way?
FRIEND: Is having sex with them the same thing as being nice to them?
ME: Uh...
FRIEND: Because I didn't smile during it.
ME: I just worry that maybe sometimes people are nice to me just because I do theater with them and they don't want to chance burning a bridge.
FRIEND: So you don't want to be a bridge?
ME: No, I like being a bridge, but I don't want someone to like me just because I'm a bridge.
FRIEND: Not everyone is going to like your bridge.
ME: But then why do they even want to go over my bridge?
FRIEND: I'm sorry. Are we still talking about you or are we actually talking about a bridge, because I'm three drinks in and metaphors make me dizzy.
It got me thinking--
Who am I still going to be nice to once this project is over?
Is there anyone I'm being nice to now that I really don't like?
And should I be nice to them if I really am just being fake?
Will the ethical questions ever stop coming?
I'll have to take a walk over the bridge and think about it.
Great, now even I'm lost in the metaphor.
No comments:
Post a Comment