Day #17: When I Pray

I used to have a problem with saying "I'll keep you in my prayers."

Or

"I'll pray for you."

To me, it always sounded so false, because I don't pray.

At least, I don't pray in a conventional manner.

I don't get down on my knees, elbows resting on my bed, and quietly whisper requests hoping they'll shoot up to heaven.

As I get older, I find that my belief in the Catholic God of my childhood has become seriously shaken up. My faith in organized religion has just about evaporated.

Yet somehow, I feel like what remains is better than what was there.

When I started the "nice" project, I had a lot of people assume that I was seeking God. When I did a solo show about God, people assumed I was looking to connect with Jesus. When I wrote a blog about dating a hundred men in a year, people assumed I was a promiscuous slut.

Obviously what people assume doesn't really matter much to me anymore.

The truth is, I like prayer. I feel like praying is important. When I embarked on the "nice" project, I wanted prayer to be a part of that project, but I was afraid that it would be me walking a fine line between religion and...whatever it is I believe in.

So I had to come to terms with it, and here's where I wound up:

I believe in energy. I believe people put energy into the world, and I believe that when you take a moment to concentrate on someone so they can get well, get promoted, get wise, or get it, you're helping to shift the energy that's there in a positive direction.

I can't help but think of the opening scene of my favorite movie "It's a Wonderful Life."

The short scenes of all the houses with George Bailey's friends inside praying for him always makes me tear up. That much goodwill focused on someone--I can't believe it can be anything but helpful.

Even if it's not, it certainly can't hurt.

When I pray, I do it wherever I am, and I don't kneel down or say anything specific. I focus.

That's the main thing--I just take a second away from whatever million thoughts are running through my brain, and I focus on something other than myself and whatever it is that's bothering me.

Then I turn that focus to someone else, and I'm quiet.

It's not how I was taught to pray, but then again, I was taught that you have to pray TO something or someone. A higher power.

I just pray.

And I hope that when I need it, people pray for me in their own way.

Though it may not always directly lead to me getting what I want, at least it allows them to have a moment of quiet in their day.

Enough of those has got to lead to something good, right?

Can I get an amen?