Day #16: What I Have Time For

I think one of my major problems is that I always think I don't have time to do the things I should be doing.

There never seems to be time to learn new things, like cooking or sign language.
There never seems to be time to call my grandparents and ask how they're doing.
There never seems to be time to read, write, or journal.

When you do theater, you're constantly given permission to be a bad friend, or unproductive, or to just check out of the world.

Maybe some of my theater friends will think I'm being unfair when I say this, but I think sometimes doing theater appeals to the selfishness in me.

For example, right now I'm in tech for a show.

When you're in tech, you get to walk around and say things like "I'd love to come to your birthday party, BUT I'm in tech."

"I'd love to grab lunch with you, BUT I'm in tech."

or

"I'd love to help you out with your problem, but I have my own problems. I'm in tech."

What is tech anyway?

Unless you're doing a Broadway show, tech just means you bust your ass a little more at rehearsal and stay up a little later. It shouldn't allow you to stop being an active member of society.

This week, I'm going to try and remember that part of being nice is being nice when you don't feel like it, or don't want to be, or don't think you have time for it.

I have time for it.

I have time for my friends.

I have time to be productive.

You know how I know this?

Because I have time to write a two-page e-mail to somebody when they tick me off.
Because I have time to watch four hours of really stupid television.
Because I have time to do what I want to do, and that's basically what it boils down to.

So many people in my generation have this feeling that they should only have to do what they want to do. I think this is because, if you had parents like mine who sacrificed so that I wouldn't have to do as much as they did to give me the life I have, then you might have gone overboard with that.

I think I need to swing my pendulum a little.

I need to be less selfish.

I need to remember that the only thing I have more of than time is excuses.

So the next time I start whining to you about how busy I am, please call me out on it.

I may be busy, but chances are some of you were busy too when I called you with a problem, and you still listened to me.

Go ahead. Call me out on it. Let me hear what you have to say.

I got all the time in the world.