Day #64: Just Do Better

Every once in awhile, you screw up.

Yesterday, I got into a combative conversation with a woman on Salon, and though I managed to stay civil, it definitely set me back energy-wise for the rest of the day.

The problem with me is that when someone is mad at me, even a lesbian from Iowa I've never met, I start getting paranoid. It starts to feel like everyone is mad at me.

Sometimes when you write and post what you write online (or just when you put yourself out there in general) you risk getting what you put out there thrown back at you--with complaints.

My response to ticking someone off used to be simple--eviscerate them.

I would tear the person apart, then try to get everyone else to turn on them. It's a little bit like lighting someone on fire and then throwing them in quicksand.

In reality, I was throwing myself in the quicksand too.

I didn't know how to respond to the fact that I screwed up, so instead, I just dug the hole deeper. I took the "F**k them" approach. I got caught up in the fact that I messed up, instead of trying to just move on.

That's the knowledge I lacked--people aren't as concerned with forgiving you as they are with seeing you redeem yourself through your actions.

You see it all the time in the entertainment industry.

Nobody wants to hear an actor apologize for making a bad movie, they just want the next movie they make to be worth the price of the ticket.

So today, rather than continue on with a pointless argument with some woman I haven't met nor will ever meet, I decided to just keep on writing.

I've got mouth-sized feet, and I can't avoid committing an error every now and again, but the bigger error would be to stay in one place and try to undo it.

Instead, I just have to do better.

Believe it or not, Mondays are my favorite day. Yes, we go back to work. Yes, we no longer have the weekend. Yes, we're all tired and cranky.

But we're also allowed to start at Day One again, and do better.

And I'm grateful for the opportunity.