Monday, November 8, 2010

Day #97: Today

Today something gelled--or clicked--or whatever you want to call it.

Today I made a decision. A nice decision. But it was also a hard decision. And very much an adult decision.

Today I felt like I did the right thing, and it sucked.

And it sucked BECAUSE it was the right thing.

And it wasn't anyone's fault that it sucked or that I was in that position or that I had to make that choice.

It was the right thing to do, the nice thing to do, it sucked, and I did it.

And I guess I could have been proud of myself except for that whole I wanted to punch a hole in the wall feeling.

Sometimes I feel like it's not enough that you're nice. Sometimes I feel like the world makes it hard for you to be nice, because being able to know that you're a nice person is a reward in and of itself, and so of course, you should have to work for it.

Well, today, I worked for it.

I really did.

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