Day #100: Thankful

Although I passed Day #100 awhile back, it only seemed appropriate to end this blog on Thanksgiving.

I'll admit, I'm not always a pro when it comes to nailing the ending, but I think this time I got it.

What have I learned after one hundred days of being nice?

It's impossible.

That's right, you heard me, being nice is impossible.

Clearing your head of mean thoughts, refraining from gossiping, never losing your temper, and managing to smile constantly is downright impossible.

At least, for me it is.

I have days when I am a downright jerk, moments where I'm the farthest I can be from the kind of person I want others to see me as, and interactions with people where I'm nothing but cruel.

But after spending more than three months fighting all that with everything I had, I have figured something out:

Nobody changes in one hundred days.

You can blog about it, monologue about it, or make witty videos about it, but the truth is, change takes a lot longer than three months.

When I was younger, I thought "a nice person" was something you grew up to be, like a job--like an astronaut or a zookeeper.

I started this project with that same ridiculous idea. That I could immerse myself in niceness and come out a saint.

It doesn't work that way.

I'm still a work in progress...

...But I made progress.

Some really good progress, I think.

I'm a little bit more patient.
I'm a little bit less nasty.
I understand a little bit more about myself and others.

And mostly, I'm a lot more thankful.

That's why I wanted to end the blog on Thanksgiving.

Because the main thing I learned was that I have an awful lot of people who put up with me whether I'm a sweetheart or a tyrant or a whiner or an angel or just...me.

I have people in my life who are willing to let me progress and mess up and start all over again.

And for that, I'm thankful.

Nicer? Maybe.

But definitely thankful.

Day #99: Almost There

The last time I came close to finishing a blog challenge, I was...not thrilled.

I started a dating blog, and by the time I was done, I'd lost a good friend, a boyfriend, and the confidence that I'd ever be able to finish anything again.

Being a writer, I worried about the ending. I wanted a really good ending.

Unfortunately, when you blog about real life, you can't always guarantee a good ending. Instead, you have to take the ending and present it in an honest light.

If you learn something from it, that helps too.

The problem with the last blog is that I didn't really learn anything at the end of it. I got my ending too late.

I was determined not to let that happen this time.

And I think, at least as far as that's concerned--

I succeeded.

Day #98: One Nice Thing

My one nice thing?

Posting on a friend's wall that I wouldn't know what to do without them.

Remember, one stone can make a lot of ripples.

Day #97: Today

Today something gelled--or clicked--or whatever you want to call it.

Today I made a decision. A nice decision. But it was also a hard decision. And very much an adult decision.

Today I felt like I did the right thing, and it sucked.

And it sucked BECAUSE it was the right thing.

And it wasn't anyone's fault that it sucked or that I was in that position or that I had to make that choice.

It was the right thing to do, the nice thing to do, it sucked, and I did it.

And I guess I could have been proud of myself except for that whole I wanted to punch a hole in the wall feeling.

Sometimes I feel like it's not enough that you're nice. Sometimes I feel like the world makes it hard for you to be nice, because being able to know that you're a nice person is a reward in and of itself, and so of course, you should have to work for it.

Well, today, I worked for it.

I really did.

Day #96: Pay Attention

It's funny, but I think one thing I've become good at over the past ninety-six days is paying attention to people.

I used to just sort of gloss over everybody and wait for somebody more interesting to show up, but now I try to focus on the person I'm with at the moment, and I have actually noticed a change.

Funny that I never thought of it before considering my biggest annoyance is when someone starts talking to me and then lets their eyes wander off in other directions.

Everybody just wants to know that what they have to say has value.

Sometimes the nicest thing you can do for someone is just give them your time.

Day #95: Somebody Hated Audrey Hepburn

If I could have one super ability in the world, it would be to feel unaffected when people don't like me.

Instead, I dwell on it. I focus, and concentrate, and drive myself nuts thinking about the people who don't like me.

I tell myself to appreciate the people who do, but then I'll find out that someone's mad at me or finds me annoying or whatever, and I just zone in on it.

The funny thing is that most of the time when I'm not being nice, it's because I'm trying to put up this "I don't really care" attitude when in fact, I'm miserable.

Sometimes I wonder if it would make a difference.

What if I just erected a billboard that says--

"It bothers me when you don't like me. Love me. I'm a vulnerable soul."

Somebody would probably draw a mustache on it.

It would probably be my grandmother, telling me to get over it.

"Somebody hated Audrey Hepburn."
"Grandma, nobody hated Audrey Hepburn. More people hated Jesus than Audrey Hepburn."
"People hated Audrey Hepburn, and she was still Audrey Hepburn. She didn't stay up all night worrying about those assholes. She just went on being Audrey Hepburn. If she had wasted her time worrying, she wouldn't have BEEN Audrey Hepburn. That's what you need to do. Just be Kevin Broccoli. Let the assholes take it or leave it."

Let the assholes take it?

I'm going to leave that one alone.

But I will say this--

My grandma might be onto something.

Day #94: Testing, Testing 1...2...3...

This might be what you call "final exam time."

I have to see how nice I can be in situations that would normally beg for me to be a catty bitch.

So, I gathered a group of friends together so they could read me some of the most infuriating literature on Earth.

Namely, Facebook statuses.

Relationships

BRIAN: Okay, this one is from some girl named Carly.
ME: I don't know a Carly.
BRIAN: You're friends with her on Facebook.
ME: That means nothing, but continue.
BRIAN: 'So in love with my boyfriend. Happy One Month, Baby!'
ME: She thinks she's in love with him after one month?
BRIAN: Yup.
ME: Um...you know, she's probably young, and--
BRIAN: She's twenty-five.
ME: Some people fall in love quickly.
BRIAN: She was in a relationship with someone else last month.
ME: I'm glad she's happy.
BRIAN: A+, moving on.

Politics

NICK: This is from a guy named Chris.
ME: Shoot.
NICK: 'Sooo happy the Republicans have the House. Things are going to be great again!'
ME: Okay, well, everyone's entitled to their own political beliefs.
NICK: One of his friends commented by saying--'Democrats can suck my--you know.'
ME: I'm not going to indulge in online fighting with people who choose to use that sort of language.
NICK: Chris responded by saying--'Yeah, they can! All Democrats suck anyways.'
ME: Again, not going to get involved.
NICK: Apparently Chris is gay.
ME: WHAT?!?!

Religion

SCOOTER: Some girl named Elise says--'Thank you Jesus for teaching me to love others.'
ME: She sounds like a lovely girl.
SCOOTER: Not finished.
ME: No, of course you're not.
SCOOTER: 'Even gay people, who are so confused.'
ME: She sounds a bit...misguided, but those are her beliefs.
SCOOTER: Then she posted a photo of Christ healing the gays.
ME: Okay, give me the laptop.
SCOOTER: Why?
ME: I just want to...wish her a good day.
SCOOTER: Yeah, I don't think so.
ME: Scooter--
SCOOTER: Kev, you look kind of--
ME: GIVE ME THE STUPID COMPUTER SO I CAN TELL THE WACKO WHERE TO PUT HER HEALING HANDS, YOU JACKASS!

. . . . .

Okay, I still have six more days.

Don't give up yet.

Day #93: One Nice Thing

Without a doubt, the highlight of this project for me was the Ten People Revolution.

Logging onto Facebook and seeing so many people spreading thanks everywhere was awesome.

So what better way to close out my Nice Project than to do it again?

Except this time, we're going to make it even simpler.

One week from today, on Monday, November 8th, I will reach Day #100 of being (or trying to be) nice as chronicled on this blog (http://mrniceguyproject.blogspot.com/)

I want to celebrate by seeing how many people I can get to post one nice thing on somebody's wall.

This doesn't have to be a 'Thank you,' but it would be nice if it were specific.

"You always make me laugh."
"You're brilliant."
"You make really good ham."

Whatever you want, it only has to be one thing on one person's wall.

But trust me, it adds up.

Day #92: Signs I Might Be Getting Nicer

I've noticed a few things that might indicate I'm getting a little bit nicer than I was ninety-two days ago.

1) I get back to people a lot sooner than I used to, and I've finally realized that people don't necessarily mind hearing 'No' as long as you give them a 'No' sooner rather than later.

2) I found myself really appreciating everybody that came to see "The Miss Firecracker Contest" and "Smizing." For the first time, it wasn't just about me wanting to be seen, it was more about realizing that people took the time and spent the money to come see me.

3) My inner monologue more often than not switches over from "I can't believe they did that!" to "Oh, get the hell over it, Broccoli" a lot sooner.

4) I tell my Mom I love her more. I hugged my brother when he was home for the weekend. I didn't correct my Grandmother when she asked me what the "smizzing" show was about.

5) I've been laughing more. It's fantastic.

Little things, but I'm proud of them.

They're like little trophies on a mantle in my mind.

Hopefully I can rack up a few more before next week.